03/22/02 - Posted 5:36:01 PM from the Daily Record newsroom
Broadway, Mafia take a humorous ‘Hit’

By Debra Scacciaferro, Daily Record

"THE PRODUCER’S FATAL ‘HIT’!"

Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m.

at Il Giordino Restaurant

41 Ridgedale Ave., Cedar Knolls

Tickets $48, includes show and dinner

Call (973) 301-0121

Web: www.murdertogo.com

Imagine that you’ve been to the opening night of the most awful Broadway musical of all time, "The Mafia Queen."

The star, Toffee Alto, a buxom blond with a New Joisey accent and wife of a big-time mobster, froze for 10 minutes on her first entrance. And that was her best moment. Her simpering co-star is Bernie Broadhurst, who boasts an ego three sizes larger than his ample waist.

The awful script was written by ex-hot dog vendor Eli Blaine, a spastic mensch in a baggy tux and sneakers, whose big love song consists entirely of the phrase "You and Me and Me and You." And the show was produced by a cheerful sad sack, Bernie Mallenstock, who hasn’t had a hit since who remembers when.

Imagine further that you’re attending the opening-night party, where Mimi Sheraton, the well-heeled and furred critic with the razor wit, is on the prowl, along with an undercover agent (we won’t say who) and the sole backer of "The Mafia Queen," Toffee’s mobster husband, Tony Alto.

If you can imagine all that, you’re all set to spend a comical evening at "The Producer’s Fatal ‘Hit’!" It was written and produced by David Landau of "Murder to Go," and directed by popular company actor Joe Molino. It runs through July every weekend at Il Giordino Restaurant’s downstairs dinner theater in Cedar Knolls. A delicious four-course dinner, with a choice of chicken, salmon or eggplant for the entree, ensures you won’t walk away hungry.

If you’re in the mood to be silly, this is the place to come.

My table of eight certainly was, eager to crack jokes with the cast as its members visited tables to chat and drop clues. One couple, Ralph and Susan, and another gentleman named Vince rivaled the actors in improvisational skills, trading verbal zingers that kept our table in stitches. Vince even agreed to dress up in costume and participate in one of the musical numbers.

"The Producer’s Fatal ‘Hit’!" offers up a pretty good cast, although I still count Landau’s "Murder at the Café Noir" and "Virginia Jones" as my favorites. A cross between "The Producers" and "The Sopranos," this tangled plot is a bit slim, and the characters don’t deliver as much punch as Landau’s best efforts.

Of the cast, Tina Zoganas, last seen in "Killing Mr. Withers," is terrific in the role of Mimi, the critic. She’s bitchy and wild, with a smooth veneer and an acid wit. She even tried to cut in on me in the ladies restroom.

Jim Folly, a newcomer, is also great fun as the hot dog vendor-turned-author Eli Blaine. He’s a lovable nerd, and he does great improvisations on his rounds through the audience. He and Vince had a hysterical conversation about what play he would write next, punning on Vince’s line of work (as a telephone lineman) and the idiosyncrasies of town names in New Jersey. Make it a point to talk to him.

Kathryn Smizer is back as Toffee Alto, an engaging dimwit actress who does the Joisey accent to perfection, with Joe Molino less funny than usual in the dual role of Bernie and mobster Tony. (The two originated these roles in Murder to Go’s previous play, "The Altos," a spoof on the TV show "The Sopranos.")

Leo Hatem, an ex-jockey turned actor, makes a sweet Baxter Mallenstock, but he has trouble with some of his lines. (Local audiences may remember him from "Pigeons on the Walk" at the Bickford Theatre several years back.)

But the musical numbers, es-pecially "You and Me" — a spoof on old-time love songs — are funny, with Landau’s lyrics set to five tunes from the 1950s. And Landau manages to tuck lots of names of Broadway musicals into the dialogue. Jot them down. During dessert, you’ll be asked to guess how many, as well as vote for the murderer and the motive. Winners receive a prize.

Since this is an interactive evening, the audience will also be asked to supply adjectives and adverbs, even a noun or two, to fill in the blanks of a review poor Mimi is having trouble writing. Read aloud, the results are bizarre and sometimes hilarious. Just like the show.

Debra Scacciaferro can be reached at dscaccia@gannett.com or (973) 428-6662.

Copyright 2003 Daily Record.